Thwarted...Again!

Well folks, my noble intentions to donate blood today were again derailed. I woke up yesterday with a small rash on my wrists and waist. Went to work, bought a coffee on my way to donate blood, found out I was there on the wrong day, came home and was cracked out on caffeine (since I haven't had it in 3 weeks! Yay me!) and marked 16 things off my to-do-list. By the time I slowed down and checked the rash again, it had progressed to a level 3 threat. I took two Benadryl, passed out, and woke up today in PURE HELL!

I am having an allergic reaction to something ingested internally and it is manifesting itself through rash on EVERY INCH OF MY BODY! Read that: EVERY INCH of my body. I am fantasizing about making a bed of sandpaper, stripping off all my clothes, and rolling around until the itch goes away. Of course, I would then be left with an entirely new type of discomfort as one of my layers of dermis would be missing!

I put on my greatest seduction face and asked J if he would like to accompany me to the bedroom where he could wipe my whole body down with a dry terrycloth towel. Apparently, that is not his deepest fantasy. I offered other options: Gauze? Tin foil? The stem from the pineapple we cut for dessert? The tread of my running shoe? A pair of chopsticks? Good ol' fashioned fingernails?

Maybe he would like to roll me across the carpet like a burrito? Hold me in place while the treadmill band rolls under my body? Paint me with oatmeal and calamine? Nope, no takers. And a husband who may never look at me the same again.

I got a steroid shot, bought out the entire anti-itch section of Wal-Mart, and am about to induce a Benadryl coma to keep from itching. I'd post pictures, but I will spare you those mental images. They will haunt you.

New appointment to give blood: May 20, one week from today. We'll try again.

Goodnight and enjoy your itch free body.